The Precious Scars

SMP, The After-Grad Party Sometimes I wonder if Jonathan Scott has awareness of me.  The more I learn about the twin flame connection , the more I question if I'm the only one.  Maybe that's why I see his soul so effortlessly; because we are  one soul in two bodies ?  If that's the case, can he see mine? Having  ONE soul , also means having  ONE Karma ; we're not individuals reaping what we sow, independent from others.  If one acts accordingly, the other benefits.....pays the price otherwise.  Suspect Jonathan and I will never share memories from common lifetimes for this reason; only one of us is responsible for clearing the karmic debt associated with it.  He has "awareness" of a past life in which we were " sworn enemies "; sports a scar same location as his death blow......but doubt he would recall details in the same manner I did.  Found myself screaming, " YOU LEFT ME!  YOU WERE MY ONLY FRIEND; MY ONLY...

Instagram These two photos are hauntingly beautiful to me, for one reason.......I can clearly see Jonathan 's soul .  Been struggling for a year to catch a glimpse of my own, hoping to reconnect with an emotion responsible for a specific biochemical reaction .  Have been unsuccessful in my attempts......mainly because seeing depths to this degree is almost impossible to achieve.  Yet with Jonathan Scott , I fight time and again not to see his.  Happens only when his face is "naked"...........free of make-up and not pumped full of botox.  Stop myself short of seeing...........because to gaze upon a person in this manner is akin to peering right into the core of their being.  It's not something that has ever happened with a stranger............and because it's more intimate than sex alone, baring witness to it............without Jonathan 's knowledge or consent, feels like a violation against him somehow.  The only people who have the righ...

I do believe in a grand design.  I also believe in divine intervention.  Can't say I noticed anything out-of-the-ordinary because the moves were so subtle.  Only a more forceful move months later would cause me to question and reevaluate.....and persuade me to believe I was always being led. Curbed L.A. I did need to reach this house by April if I ever were to gain a clearer perspective on my situation.  I was weighing the pros and cons of having surgery to remove organs radically affecting the quality of my life.  Proceeding would create a whole host of new issues and likely only allow me 3-5 years life.  Doing nothing meant I might live almost 10 years, but I lived without companionship for nearly 25 because of it and chances were, that would not change.  Life without love isn't much of a life.  The first option would at the very least give me opportunities.      I would only receive this news third week of March, but thi...