The Precious Scars

ज ो न ा थ न   red late-ripening apple; primarily eaten raw   Jonathan Hadn't thought of this guy since grade school.  Suppose he came to mind while watching Drew's Honeymoon House because his name is Jonathan.  He was the first boy to like me.  I did not share his feelings.  I was a  John Schneider  girl, dreaming of having Bo Duke babies with golden locks like my mother's.  Jonathan loved playing with my hair and tagged along wherever the girls were.  This did not win me friends.  One day he got brazen and kissed me right in the middle of kindergarten class.  I rewarded him by giving him his first black eye.  He escaped punishment, but for my crime I was sent to the corner and told I was a bad Christian girl.....a phrase I'd become quite familiar with.  It was Jonathan's fault; it all started with him....and from that day forward I took to calling him "Trouble".  Unfortunately "Trouble" never did stop liking me.  Seemed punchin

I don't know what being a clairvoyant  is like for anyone else.  For me, it's been a mixed bag.  Growing up, we were not encouraged to speak on the subject unless something unusual happened....and never to my father.  This often left me at odds.  An early education might have helped, but I was still in the dark on the basics until adulthood.  It was while attending a retreat at 23, I learnt I'm a so-called "trance" medium ....which apparently was such a big deal the whole room fell silent.  I wanted to be part of a group where I could be myself, but in the end a man gliding out of me the same moment a dog bit me just further differentiated me. Sister, Mom, Brother, Me I like the heightened senses, hyper-cognition, and even the ability to detect patterns quickly.  I miss experiencing memory as indistinguishable from day-to-day living.  Instant recall, photographic memory, and interactions within but independent from remembrances were amongst the perks. 

I do believe in a grand design.  I also believe in divine intervention.  Can't say I noticed anything out-of-the-ordinary because the moves were so subtle.  Only a more forceful move months later would cause me to question and reevaluate.....and persuade me to believe I was always being led. Curbed L.A. I did need to reach this house by April if I ever were to gain a clearer perspective on my situation.  I was weighing the pros and cons of having surgery to remove organs radically affecting the quality of my life.  Proceeding would create a whole host of new issues and likely only allow me 3-5 years life.  Doing nothing meant I might live almost 10 years, but I lived without companionship for nearly 25 because of it and chances were, that would not change.  Life without love isn't much of a life.  The first option would at the very least give me opportunities.      I would only receive this news third week of March, but things were already in motion by mid-month.  At t