The Art of Precious Scars

I suspect there's a reason why the more I see of these Property Brothers, the more intertwined they become in my present journey.  I am a fan of their work, but unlike others I do not see their so-called "charmed life" as answer to some "happily-ever-after" prayer.  People who know my name think much the same about me....which is why I can say in all honesty, money and power do not equate to happiness.           

Lauren B Jewellery

I recall an argument from my film theory/marketing class regarding the popularity of television....how its attractiveness laid in its simplicity and symmetry; a vast contract to life which is messy, complex, and complicated.  In pondering this, I realized why these two appeal to the masses, even more than some of their contemporaries.  As identical twins, they appear as if two-sides of the same face....not unlike the god Janus.  I laugh when recollecting a post in which the implication was they were gods.  I am convinced there's a small group of women who sacrifice goats in Jonathan Scott's name.

Truth be told, I didn't know Jonathan was considered a sex symbol.  He's handsome and becoming more so, like Sean Connery the older he got.  But until age 38,  he was just a pair of beautiful eyes and super-sexy incisors.  Oh, what I wouldn't give to have incisors like those!  Must have had ALOT of women wanting to stick their tongue in his mouth just to touch them!  Not sure why he didn't use Hollywood Magic to play to his strengths.  As a magician you'd think he'd know all the tricks of the trade.  If I had his height I would have paired myself opposite a super short woman just like Drew to appear taller and more god-like than I am.  Gigantism is definitely wasted on this man.       

My Sex Symbol Days
I have not been intimate with anyone in nearly twenty-five years.  I cry about it alot.  It causes me to feel shame, being a woman whose body is more akin to a child's.  Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong in this life to not be allowed to grow up.  No one has shown interest in me....and that might be okay if I could remember what it was like to be held or kissed.  I have no LIVE recollections of passed conquests to bring me comfort. 

I mention this only because I was once a sex symbol.....and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.  I often struggled to tell friend from foe.  Even with an army of men in the wings, not one was there because they really wanted to know me.....only the boobs.  I got kicked out of the All-Star league because of illness.....but I'm actually okay being a needle in a haystack.  I hated being in the position of sorting through a massive stack looking for one specific person amongst many.  Won't lie.  Wish the proverbial "he" would arrive soon......but if I could only have one wish today I think I would give it to Jonathan.  He's earmarked for something big, something requiring the love of a strong woman by his side.  Finding that someone who sees him as more than a Property Brother; values him for the individual he is is gonna' be challenging.  I am only a medium and inconsequential to this world.  He needs my wish more than I do.

If the "Scottish man" were a definition in the Dictionary, it would read "competitive by nature; no logic can counter these instincts".  I laugh over the fact Drew loses sleep because Jonathan holds the monopoly on fan adoration.  Jonathan would be relieved to contend with fewer fans if it meant he no longer had to date....as it leaves him feeling vulnerable....and 12 again.  I hope this combativeness does not keep Drew from realizing in Linda he has a woman whose quality far surpasses the sheer quantity of women at Jonathan's disposal.  Fandom is just the consolation prize.  Drew's the big winner here.  If I could give him one wish today, it would be he stop losing sleep over this.   

Katarzyna Madej
"All the best people must sparkle and shine like a 100+ faceted, brilliant-cut Polar Diamond".  That's what I thought the first time I held one in my hand.  These two are like diamonds.....differing in colour and clarity, but with a brilliance that outshines even the brightest stars in Tinseltown.  The world may see only a few facets, but their dimensions are endless.  One has found someone who sees all.  The other will too....and soon.   

I am not a diamond like these boys.  I'm more like a rare antiquity, thought at first to be of little worth because I am found in pieces.  This particular journey has made me realize I'm mended, I'm healed.....or at least in the process of becoming so.  I'm being shaped and moulded into something beautifully unique and of value once again.  The Japanese refer to the process of repairing pottery by enhancing "its scars" with gold or silver as Kintsugi.  It literally translates to "the art of precious scars".  I'm being asked to shine a light on all my imperfections, not use glue to mask them.  I know this because of the red threads....connected to issues regarding roots, family, origins, and legacies.  They are the gold, meant to bind my broken pieces and strengthen me overall.  I may not be a diamond like Jonathan and Drew, but I am still a unique individual with a beauty all my own.  Hopefully one day someone will see that.           

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