"The New Girls"
Were placed into position July/August to "stumble over" one another. Know of each other through their "workzz". Contact has been passive; indirect. Attempts at direct communication have been delayed. Have not yet met.....as of December 2018.
|The Scott Brothers|
Dream is to be a mom......but hasn't happened for me yet. Each time I consider invitro......mind goes to the episode where Phoebe visits a fertility clinic; is told she doesn't want a baby so much as a family. Always "knew" I was suppose to have two daughters. Dreamt of them summer before the accident. Awoke.....having slept only six minutes, the second I heard them say, "Hurry Mummy! Hurry!". Assumed it was just a dream......until I caught sight of two child-size butt prints on the bed. Hands could feel their heat; trace their form.......but could see nothing more than those impressions.
After publishing That Grand Old Dame, I tried to delete the blog. The supernatural events connecting Jonathan and myself were becoming too much for me to handle. I wanted this done; wanted him gone from my life once-and-for-all. "Glitches" prevented me from following through......twice. Third time........was just like what happened with my grandpa, only there were two little voices coming from the kitchen pleading, "Hurry Mummy! Hurry!".
What most people don't know is while I was mourning for my son, I was also grieving my daughters. With my "first love" gone....who I'd known to be their father, assumed their conception was no longer a possibility. Never took into account the man from my childhood visions. HE'S apparently my first love. Was why the girls appeared happy, healthy and inexplicably BLOND before morphing into darker, lifeless corpses. Chances were the "promise" of their arrival was likely "conditional".....but it was more than this "higher power" had offered previous. Whatever their plans for Jonathan and myself, I stopped fighting......focused on producing as much as I could, as fast as I could.
|Follow Your Dreams|
Had previously caught glimpses of his future with wife and children. Chose not to believe they were anything more than a figment of my imagination. Never had evidence Jonathan had seen or read anything I wrote. This would all change with a "glitch". There were two posts......one about solar panels; the other from the last day of the "Sailing With The Scotts" contest. Was about to write-off this lingering "baby scent" (on the same fingers as the ones Jonathan used to stroke his child's sole) as an over-reaction.....when the "hearts" appeared; no "sender" information. Happened multiple times before, on two other accounts.....that of JD and Drew Scott.
Precognition is not generally a pleasurable experience......mostly because I'm limited to witnessing the most horrific acts one man can commit on another. Reason for this is because of television....reaches more people. Billions/trillions experiencing the same emotions over a single event, somehow amplifies them......makes it possible to "reach someone attuned" through time. Did not initially recognize flashes of Jonathan and his spouse as visions......because I have never "seen" in this manner. With them....I see ONLY through "her" eyes, but all feeling comes from him. It's almost as if they have a symbiotic relationship; operating as a "unified one" in the future.
Dreams were solely about him.....but couldn't say what they were about. In the moment between waking and sleeping would hear myself say, "Sh*t! Dreamt about him again!". Happened every day for two months.......but could never remember the details. What I do recall is waking up earlier and earlier each day.......feeling rested and refreshed in a way I hadn't in decades. Should have been more tired......if I were dreaming for two.
"And the world thought I had it all.......but I was waiting for you."
Celine DionNovember 28 was a big day for us, turning-point-wise. Was the last day this "higher power" would forcefully intercede in my life. As a farewell, I was privy to one last "vision"......a chance to say good-bye to children I watched grow to adulthood. I published Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned.......which attracted my first commentator. And Jonathan's statement to the press, addressing his ex-girlfriend's engagement came out in print. Wager the specialist I so desperately needed to see finally accepted me as a patient.
|Grade 12 Graduation|
Logically......in order for these "visions" to have actually been memories, I'd have to have seen them somewhere once before......and the only place I could have seen "a future" in this manner is this place. I have no recollection of seeing Jonathan while there. Other than thinking "I'd seen him before; I knew him from somewhere" during that scene in Africa, can't for the life of me understand why I would. My accident happened in 2007.......four years before Property Brothers hit the airwaves. Why in the afterlife would I see a man I would not even come to know existed for another 11 years? It makes no sense.
Have another explanation as to why these visions may have felt like memories.....as seen from the other side of the veil. It is not uncommon for people near death to begin talking about "nonsensical" things. Mom talked to her grandmother, father......and a grandson she never knew about. Some mention persons who WILL BE born long after they've passed. The veil between worlds thins as a person is readying themselves to leave. Especially for those with long-term illnesses, the process happens immediately.......but slowly and in increments. Was seeing things as if I already had one foot in this world and one in the other.......because I was alot closer to death than I realized. In hindsight, I know I wouldn't have made it to my last birthday......had something drastic not happened. Maybe it's good I didn't know. Not sure I would have chosen to spend my last days writing.
|People Magazine, June 2019|
Nothing worked out. Everything I put into motion had the exact opposite effect of what I was hoping. Don't worry about Jonathan mimicking my gesture though. Seems we counterbalance one another......which means God's likely delivering his true love home any day now. As much as I razz the guy......don't wanna' see him unhappy and alone.
As for me.....still waiting for the one from my childhood visions to show up at my doorstep. Suppose to know him by his kiss.....if you can believe that. Became aware we'd had other lives together....while in Vegas. Perhaps this "magical" kiss will be as it was in every lifetime; how I come to recognize him. Can only hope.
There Is Gold In Every Piece Of Your Story